Why I Miss Spam

OK, I'll admit it. Sometimes I miss spam e-mail. Don't you?

Don't you ever miss coming to work on a Monday morning, getting a fresh, hot cup of three-day old coffee from the community coffee pot which you haven't contributed any money to in a couple of years, sitting down at your desk and opening your e-mail account to find about 176 e-mails from people you don't know.

Of course, you open each of them any way. Why not. It's the company's computer so who cares if it gets a virus and what? Like you're going to work on a Monday morning anyway?

You would go through deleting each one of them one at a time even though it would be easier just to select all — because again, it's Monday morning and what else are you going to do all day — and then there it would be:

Bouncing Boobies! Or maybe an ad for some foreign chick willing to marry you from Russia. Or my favorite the enlarge-your-whatever-body-part-of-the-week-special even if you don't actually have that particular body part.

It was just like a great, big, virtual Cracker Jack box every morning.

Yep, I miss spam.